Here are five of the most ridiculously bitcoin clickhole racism conspiracy theories we’ve heard recently. Hey, why can’t I vote on comments? Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content.

It would be nice to live in a world where there’s no such thing as random tragedy and where every terrible event could be linked back to a villainous puppet master via a chain of subtle but obvious clues. Here are five of the most ridiculous examples. The Ice Bucket Challenge Is a Satanic Baptism Ritual! Unless you’re a crazy person on the Internet, in which case the fault is obvious — all the people you saw dumping cold water on their heads were actually baptizing themselves into Lucifer’s infernal doom army. If there’s one way to honor the Lord of Hell, it’s with buckets of ice-cold water. Likewise, Bill Gates built a flimsy bucket-dumping rig clearly evocative of the Temple of Solomon and not just a pile of random bullshit in his backyard.

It is important to note that the Temple of Solomon is a biblical structure that has absolutely nothing to do with the devil. Apparently, the devil really wants to cure Lou Gehrig’s Disease. Ebola outbreak happened in the U. The devastating number of infected dead? If only we’d paid attention to the signs, like the original Kenyan pronunciation of his name. Infowars, Obama is “perpetrating the conditions” for a major outbreak by opening the southern borders and allowing infected citizens back into the country. Did we mention that a lot of this theory hinges on racism?

Once the disease spreads out of control, groups such as FEMA, the CDC, and NORTHCOM will swoop in and start disarming the populace, a task those organizations are totally capable of performing. This plan is only slightly less ridiculous than Obama building a giant magnet to collect all of the guns in America. However, not everyone agrees on his exact motivation. Robin Williams Was an Illuminati Sacrifice! The death of Robin Williams was a huge loss to the world of comedy and anyone with an ounce of humanity. Peter Griffin gains the ability to turn everything he touches into a clone of Williams. At one point in the show, Peter tries to shoot himself, but the gun transforms into Williams.